Adventures of Magnum and McClane – The World’s Greatest Detectives

Adventures of McClane and Magnum – The World’s Greatest Detectives Ever

List of characters: Bruce McClane, Jack Magnum

Erebus Nyx: Dr. Dray Seusanpepper, Dick L’Stracy, Pig Latin, Fuh Kim, Dreadylocks/Deadlock, Brack Maglane, Whizdumb, BiCurious George, Savage Vaj, and TASSmanian She-Devil

The Justice Friends: Bruce McClane, Jack Magnum, Servant, Inspector Ratchet, One-Night-Stand-Man, GnatMan, Waterboy, Gay Pride Man 🏳️‍🌈, Hustler, RoboFlex, and Yogaman

 

Dr. Dray Seusanpepper (World’s Evilest Mastermind)

Dr. Dray Seusanpepper was a savant and viewed as potentially, the smartest person alive. Once a brilliant scientist with 3 doctorates in biology, engineering, and chemistry backgrounds. He has 74 patents that are either pending, or established. All that is known about Dr. Dray, is that he was employed with DARPA at the age of 22 – while finishing his first doctorate. The US government scouted him after learning about his insight with brain mapping. Soon after, his record became classified due to the nature of his work. Although his expertise revolved around the brain, his focus changed to cellular generation and gene editing after his daughter was found to have a degenerative condition which would limit her life. He became the foremost expert on CRISPR and was developing a program which utilized CRISPR technology. Dr. Dray was a man of extreme focus and efficiency. He worked hard, always seeking optimal results.

After classified details emerged about his success with combining CRISPR along with a systemized programmable machine he and his team developed, he went missing. In his absence, his mass fortune grew significantly due to the sales and usage of his patents. Many speculate that a foreign government had taken Dr. Dray. His whereabouts have been unknown ever since. The newest criminal mastermind, however, exhibits many similarities with the missing Dr. Dray, however that seems highly unlikely as that does not coincide with his character or his past.

Fuh Kim (North Korean Superspy)

The name is Kim, Fuh Kim… An international man of mystery who originates from North Korea. When it comes to knowing, Fuh knows all. He has amassed the largest worldwide network of eyes and ears. He is the world’s dirtiest spy with all kinds of belts in all kinds of martial arts. He’s also an artist. Also a triple threat – he can sing, dance, and act. Fuh speaks 7 languages fluently, although his accent shows through very apparently. Fuh is a master of disguise, however, his accent sometimes prevents him from keeping his cover, and his cool. 

Fuh Kim was ordered to assist the North Korean government in it’s version of the “Universal Warrior” Program the Americans had mastered, after foreign governments learned of the creation of Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum. Many other governments wanted to emulate the success of Bruce McClane and the only way to accomplish this, was with CRISPR technology. Fuh had been attempting to steal all the data the Americans had on CRISPR when the leak revealed Dr. Dray’s success. Instead of gathering data and attempting to copy the Americans, Fuh Kim kidnapped Dr. Dray and forced him to work for the North Korean government in developing a CRISPR machine for them.

The North Korean lab was surprisingly equipped with state of the art technology and they even had a lab specifically outfitted for accelerated cloning development of humans. Dr. Dray had more resources here then he did even in the US. It was very apparent, this was North Korea’s top priority and most costly experiment. They were betting the bank on the technology and systems they wanted Dr. Dray to develop. 

Dr. Dray was in great distress knowing his daughter was alone. He knew they needed him, so he refused to work without his daughter by his side (at least this way, he would be able to continue trying to cure her). To get the doctor to work, Fuh was ordered to also kidnap Dr. Dray’s daughter. Dr. Dray’s daughter, was forced to work alongside her father the entire time. Although all the work Dr. Dray and his daughter did is unclear, they were able to cure his daughter. The abilities they engineered are unknown to this day, but they both have exhibited superhuman abilities.

After many, many years in North Korea, Dr. Dray found a way to edit himself and his daughter so that he would be able to free them both. After a daring escape, North Korea sent several squadrons to recapture the doctor and his daughter to no avail. The doctor and his daughter snook onto a cargo ship headed to America. Fuh Kim followed the doctor, careful not to alert the doctor to his presence. He knew he could not stop the doctor, so he hit the doctor and his daughter with a mind altering chemical grenade which was intended to inhibit the prefrontal cortex and eventually kill the target. Upon realizing the grenade, Dr. Dray threw himself on it to absorb the blast to save his daughter. He survived, and absorbed most of the gas, but since they were in a confined area, his daughter also breathed in the chemicals. Due to the experiments Dr. Dray performed on himself and his daughter, the gas affected their memory and morality, but did not kill them, but it did knock them unconscious until the ship made it to San Diego. The chemical affected Dr. Dray significantly more – making him insane. Both the doctor and his daughter became confused and absent minded, without any recollection of who they were or of their past.

Fuh Kim fled after hitting them with the gas, assuming there was no chance they could have survived.

Pig Latin (Pig Nosed Mexican Gang Lord)

Pig Latin spent his first year alive – in prison with his mother. His father was not even known by his mother and she never even wanted a baby. Due to having a little leniency in prison, she kept Pig. Due to her disdain toward men, she also ironically named him Pig. She was allowed to raise him in a different sector of the prison for the first year of his life. He spent most of his time face down because his mother wanted to mask his crying. Because of this, his nose developed abnormally. To this day, Pig cannot sleep unless his nose rests on a hard surface. After his first year, he was sent to an overloaded orphanage, which was the first of many different orphanages. His longest stay was at an orphanage where he met a young girl named Annie and a young boy named Bruce McClane. Every day was a musical, which drove him mad. A rivalry quickly ensued between Pig and Bruce. They fought everyday. Although Bruce was younger, Pig was no match for him. The constant losses made Pig strong and also made him more mad. Soon after Bruce left, Pig set the orphanage on fire and hard knocked Annie out cold. Pig wandered for weeks until he found a cozy alley he could call home. He aspired to be greatest gangster of all time and had spent every day fulfilling his dreams and building his underground empire.

Pig Latin quickly established himself as a very serious gangster. He was focused, strategic, organized, and violent, which everyone came to know. He amassed a fortune and an empire with a broad portfolio of criminal activities. His first stronghold was built when he was only 14. It was made of bales of hay. His lair was blown over by the police after running operations for 2 years. Pig spent a lot of time in Juvenile Detention and learned a lot about organized crime from his peers. After getting out, Pig built a new lair out of wood. He launched a new organization and quickly learned how to stay underground – off the police radar. He organized his gang and even had 3 apprentices who helped his gang branch out. They were called the 3 little pigs. Pig Latin’s turf now covered all of San Diego county.

One his apprentices got caught and turned Pig in for a plea deal. The police raided his wood lair and knocked it all down after finding drugs inside of the walls… before Pig’s trial, the evidence went missing. Although Pig was very wealthy and bought the best attorney available, he was still sentenced to prison for 5 years.  He earned a degree in business management with a minor in criminal justice. After getting out, Pig launched an ambitious business plan to expand all over the country. He bought 8 acres of land and built a fortified brick mansion in the middle of it. His businesses included a shipyard for exporting/importing, a security business, and a series of restaurants.

One day, some of his low level lackies attempted to mug a seemingly helpless wandering girl. The girl defeated his lackies, easily, and Pig fell deep in love with the girl. He convinced the girl to join him. The poor girl was lost and without any memory at all. After showing her nothing but good vibes, she grew to trust and care about Pig. They developed a strong relationship, although it remained professional and friendly. That girl, was the daughter of Dr. Dray Seusanpepper. They currently run the largest crime syndicates in San Diego which is based on several acres of land surrounded by fence. It is publicly known as the Pig Pen.

Dick L’Stracy AKA Dickless Tracy (Flambouyant French Black Market Dealer)

Not much is known about Dick L’Stracy’s past. He is regarded as an international black market dealer, a master thief, and master manipulator. Sometimes regarded as the World’s Deadliest Salesman. From rare antiquities to bizarre creations to classified technology to evil henchmen to unavailable real estate – if you need ANYTHING, Dick L’Stracy will find a way to acquire it and sell it to you. He has a 5 star rating on the black market Amazon. Dick L’Stracy is known for having contingency plans. He always has several contingency plans in place before making a deal. To this day, he has NEVER been captured by any government or authority.

After Dr. Dray’s mind was corrupted, he sought out Dick and bought himself a very large, highly secure, off grid, underground, secret lair. The lair cost Dr. Dray a significant fraction of his fortune, but still had billions remaining.

Dr. Dray also asked if he could hire some of Dick’s henchmen. Dick gave him a reference to a man who’s business was supplying criminals for hire. The man who had monopolized that industry, was Pig Latin. The real estate payout made Dick L’Stracy a billionaire himself, which launched the beginning of several crime syndicates all originating from San Diego. A saturated crime industry was developing, and no one knew the trouble awaiting the world.

The Creation of Brack Maglane and Dreadylocks/Deadlock

Brack Maglane (Evil CRISPR created brother of Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum)

Dr. Dray was highly ambitious and had plans that he needed to implement immediately. Although Dr. Dray has virtually unlimited resources, his evil plans were repeatedly duped… which is something that had never happened before with any of his plans. He would come to learn that his henchmen were always stopped by the authorities. Dr. Dray and Pig Latin’s relationship became conflicted. Dr. Dray kept losing the men he was paying for, so he assumed Pig Latin was supplying him with incapable men. Pig Latin was losing men and does not tolerate critiques… but they both made exceptions for each other.

After countless foiled plans and failures from the mercenaries/henchmen, Dr. Dray discovered there were 2 men responsible for all the trouble he was experiencing… Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum… The world’s greatest detective and his lowly sidekick.

These failures inspired Dr. Dray to expedite his plans to create a CRIPSR army of Universal Warriors, much like Bruce and Jack. Since they were seemingly so perfect, he extracted material from the world’s greatest detectives, and set out to create his masterpiece, Brack Maglane. A perfect combination of the detectives – complete with superhuman abilities.

Dr. Dray’s lair was extended, modified, and customized since the day he moved in. He had droves of workers, contractors, and engineers working around the clock. All signed NDAs and forced to keep the building a secret. The reconstruction took almost a year to complete. At the end of it, the entire work force was mind controlled by one of the inventions Dr. Dray had created. This ensured his secret was safe and the men would remain loyal… or die.

Since Dr. Dray hadn’t used the new equipment in his new facility yet, a timely visit was opportune when a pestering Girl Scout, with dreadlocks, found his secret lair. Although Dr. Dray tried to shoo the young Girl Scout away, she snook inside a construction entrance and discovered Dr. Dray’s hideaway. While sneaking around the construction area and all the scaffolding, a waste pipe fell on Dreadylocks’ head, rendering her unconscious. One of Dr. Dray’s guards found her and Dr. Dray decided he had to wipe her memory before letting her go.

Due to her annoying personality and the fact that Dr. Dray hadn’t been able to test his new equipment on a subject, this provided an opportunity for the mad doctor. While she was out, he used his cloning equipment along with CRISPR and made a seemingly exact copy of the young girl scout. He then wiped the memory of the original girl scout and dropped her off at the mayor’s office. Before the clone, Dreadylocks, was awakened, she was placed into a chamber and her DNA was modified extensively. After several days of experimentation and countless boxes of Girl Scout cookies, the experiment was complete. Since Dr. Dray tried to work out several kinks, he was unsure of the result – until the little girl transformed into a hulking Girl Scout with perfectly precise, perfectly accurate aim. Her large stature and abilities made her an unstoppable force capable of destroying anything she took aim at. The only problem was that her personality was also replicated and her intelligence was very hindered when she transformed. Whenever she transformed, she would also scream extremely loudly and annoyingly. The transformation was temporary however, and she reverts back to the body of the little girl after an extended period of time. The doctor had a design team create several outfit that the girl liked, but would also stretch when she transformed. They were all spandex girl scout uniforms of course.

When Dreadylocks transformed, her accuracy and precision became seemingly perfect. She demanded her hulked version be referred to as DeadLock. This successful experiment paved the road for Dr. Dray and allowed him to create Brack Maglane – the son, or brother, of Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum.

After Brack was created, he was the perfect distraction Dr. Dray needed to occupy Magnum and McClane’s time so that Dr. Dray’s expendable force, AKA Pig Latin’s thugs, could carry out his plans without disruption.

The Rise of Erebus Nyx

After many months trying to find what happened to him and how he got to San Diego, Dr. Dray’s memory started to come back to him. He past started to unfurl and there were 2 people he needed closure on. His daughter and Fuh Kim. He knew his daughter was likely in San Diego, so he had his thugs search for her, unbeknownst to all, that she was working for Pig Latin as an enforcer.

Dick L’Stracy helped the doctor find Fuh Kim and set up an ambush. Fuh Kim traveled to San Diego after hearing Dr. Dray was alive. If word got out about Fuh’s failure to eliminate the doctor and his daughter, his government would surely have him killed. The doctor knew how crafty and dangerous Fuh was, so he had his thugs follow Fuh while he was searching for Dr. Dray. The thugs wrote down his routine and the doctor realized he got coffee every morning. The doctor laced the cafe’s water supply with a chemical which, when stimulated by concentrations of radiation, administered a dependency for a particular hormone that Dr. Dray had synthesized. Fuh met Dick to get information on the doctor’s whereabouts. He was unknowingly hit with X-rays which stimulated the chemical and infected Fuh. The doctor was the only one with the cure.

After becoming deathly ill, the doctor had his thugs pick up Fuh Kim and dropped off at the Pig Pen where Dr. Dray confronted him. Fuh was told about his condition and treated to show proof of Dr. Dray’s claim. Fuh recovered immediately after receiving the treatment. The doctor offered him a home, a job, and a new life – as Dr. Dray’s slave. If anything happened to Dr. Dray, the treatment and cure would be lost and Fuh would die. Fuh had no choice, so he pled his loyalty to the doctor. Fuh Kim was a man with many resources that Dr. Dray needed, which is why he decided to keep Fuh Kim around.

After Dr. Dray posted a job on indeed for a helping hand, he got a candidate with all the credentials anyone could ask for. On paper, he was a model employee. He was extremely educated with 2 doctorates and several other undergraduate degrees in the sciences. He is to Dr. Dray what Igor was to Dr. Frankenstein. His name… Dr. Whizdumb. Although he was very educated, he completely lacked common sense. He was incredibly frustrating. After countless error and blunders, Dr. Dray dropped the Dr. prefix and referred to him as Whizdumb… for short. 

After 2 years in San Diego, Dr. Dray had established himself and his reputation in the criminal world – worldwide. With his vast resources, unrivaled mind, and untouchable reputation, it was clear to all – he wanted to start a new world order. He solicited several crime lords and initiated a collective underground crime syndicate known as Erebus Nyx. The Nyx, for short, is headed by Dr. Dray and his Generals are Pig Latin, Dick L’Stracy, Fuh Kim, Brack Maglane, Dreadylocks, and Whizdumb. 

The Assembling of the Justice Friends

While working at the PD, Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum were solving crimes at an unprecedented rate. Technology has provided methods to uncovering all the answers they needed to solve cold cases as well. One lonely night, Jack Magnum was catching up on some old cases that weren’t cracked. San Diego’s most famous case, a billionaire’s daughter had been kidnapped for ransom, was never solved and she was never found. The billionaire went on for 2 years without any sign of hope. He even offered a 10 million dollar reward. After catching Bruce McClane up with the details, they worked on the case in their spare time and successfully solved it after 2 months of obsessive dedication. After saving the daughter of the billionaire tycoon, he donated a large sum of money to SDPD on their behalf and gave them enough money to start their own agency called, Solve Who. They gathered their resources and started a new task force which would go full force at fighting crime… they called their new group, “Justice Friends” and their headquarters were located in a separate building called, The Glory Hall. This became the place where all the plans to fight criminal scum took place. And their first plan was to investigate the new streams of violence and crime taking place in San Diego…

It started out slow, however, and after Bruce and Jack left the PD in their spare time, they only got calls about noise complaints and such. Ironically, there first call brought them to the biggest bad-guy gathering San Diego had ever not seen…

The Rise of Erebus Nyx

After many months trying to find what happened to him and how he got to San Diego, Dr. Dray’s memory started to come back to him. He past started to unfurl and there were 2 people he needed closure on. His daughter and Fuh Kim. He knew his daughter was likely in San Diego, so he had his thugs search for her, unbeknownst to all, that she was working for Pig Latin as an enforcer.

Dick L’Stracy helped the doctor find Fuh Kim and set up an ambush. Fuh Kim traveled to San Diego after hearing Dr. Dray was alive. If word got out about Fuh’s failure to eliminate the doctor and his daughter, his government would surely have him killed. The doctor knew how crafty and dangerous Fuh was, so he had his thugs follow Fuh while he was searching for Dr. Dray. The thugs wrote down his routine and the doctor realized he got coffee every morning. The doctor laced the cafe’s water supply with a chemical which, when stimulated by concentrations of radiation, administered a dependency for a particular hormone that Dr. Dray had synthesized. Fuh met Dick to get information on the doctor’s whereabouts. He was unknowingly hit with X-rays which stimulated the chemical and infected Fuh. The doctor was the only one with the cure.

After becoming deathly ill, the doctor had his thugs pick up Fuh Kim and dropped off at the Pig Pen where Dr. Dray confronted him. Fuh was told about his condition and treated to show proof of Dr. Dray’s claim. Fuh recovered immediately after receiving the treatment. The doctor offered him a home, a job, and a new life – as Dr. Dray’s slave. If anything happened to Dr. Dray, the treatment and cure would be lost and Fuh would die. Fuh had no choice, so he pled his loyalty to the doctor. Fuh Kim was a man with many resources that Dr. Dray needed, which is why he decided to keep Fuh Kim around.

After Dr. Dray posted a job on indeed for a helping hand, he got a candidate with all the credentials anyone could ask for. On paper, he was a model employee. He was extremely educated with 2 doctorates and several other undergraduate degrees in the sciences. He is to Dr. Dray what Igor was to Dr. Frankenstein. His name… Dr. Whizdumb. Although he was very educated, he completely lacked common sense. He was incredibly frustrating. After countless error and blunders, Dr. Dray dropped the Dr. prefix and referred to him as Whizdumb… for short.

 

After 2 years in San Diego, Dr. Dray had established himself and his reputation in the criminal world – worldwide. With his vast resources, unrivaled mind, and untouchable reputation, it was clear to all – he wanted to start a new world order. He solicited several crime lords and initiated a collective underground crime syndicate known as Erebus Nyx. The Nyx, for short, is headed by Dr. Dray and his WhizdumbWhizdumbGenerals are Pig Latin, Dick L’Stracy, Fuh Kim, Brack Maglane, Dreadylocks, and Whizdumb.

 

The Assembling of the Justice Friends

While working at the PD, Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum were solving crimes at an unprecedented rate. Since Bruce was much like a typical badass, he did what he wanted. He tackled current cases and cold cases along with his sidekick, Jack Magnum, who would comb over the details of each case beforehand. Technology has provided methods to uncovering all the answers they needed to solve cold cases. One lonely night, like every night, Jack Magnum was catching up on some old cases that weren’t cracked. San Diego’s most famous case, caught his attention. A billionaire’s daughter had been kidnapped for ransom. The case was never solved and the billionaire’s daughter was never found. The billionaire went on for 2 years without any sign of hope. He even offered a 10 million dollar reward. After catching Bruce McClane up with the details, Magnum and McClane worked on the case in their spare time and successfully solved it after 2 months of obsessive dedication. After saving the daughter of the billionaire tycoon, the tycoon donated a large sum of money to SDPD on their behalf and gave them enough money to start their own agency called, Solve Who. They gathered their resources and started a new task force which would go full force at fighting crime… they called their new group, “Justice Friends” and their headquarters was located in a separate building called, The Glory Hall. This became the place where all the plans to fight criminal scum took place. Every morning and night, the detectives, and their allies, would brief each other about objectives and updates. The detectives hired a legendary man who was an apprentice of the world’s greatest butler, Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth. Pennyworth renamed Servant and after training him, sent him on a journey of mastery. He mastered the martial arts and finished his doctorate in management and organization. He volunteered to be McMag’s secretary, butler, housekeeper, driver, moral compass, technician, researcher, and servant. He organizes the meetings, finances, and maintenance requirements of McMag and Solve Who. He is essentially the glue which holds McMag’s organization together. 

Solve Who quickly became a well oiled organization with many experts helping efficiently build the best underground vigilante group ever assembled. And their first plan was to investigate the new streams of violence and crime taking place in San Diego…

It started out slow. The regular PD was hesitant about trusting Solve Who with emergencies. They managed to get 2 fairly large murder cases by chance. They wandered onto 2 murders after desperate people got no answers from the police. Magnum and McClane solved a murder at an insurance agency called, PROstate Farm, in just 1 day. They solved their next murder at the world famous, MudButts coffee house, in just 2 days. This reassured San Diego’s finest that they could trust and believe in Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum. Weeks after they left the PD and established Solve Who, they received a call about a noise complaints at an abandoned warehouse. Although Magnum and McClane suspected it was just another call some cop didn’t want to check out, it ironically turned out to be the biggest bad-guy gathering San Diego had ever not seen… and a opportunity for Magnum and McClane to acquaint themselves with their villainous foes in one fell swoop!

Boats and Foes

Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum we’re investigating a series of incidents surrounding the docks in SD. The reports came in a year after the property was bought. The man who was repeatedly making the calls, suddenly went missing. These occurrences rang an alarm in Bruce McClane’s head, which prompted the investigation. 

After reports came in about a noise discrepancy and screaming at an abandoned warehouse near the docks, Magnum and McClane we’re obligated to respond since they were already near the scene. They also knew the landscape well, so they were better prepared than anyone else. 

While driving upon the scene, the detectives noticed a lot of questionable vehicles. Some very nice, some very poor, and some very stereotypical vehicles. They knew something was amiss, so they popped open their trunk, which was full of weapons and gear. They put on their vests, loaded their guns and ammo, and knives as well. They don’t fuck around. 

The detectives inspected the area and identified the noise coming from a vacant warehouse. Before entering the warehouse, McMag called for backup and surveyed the area. 

They did a head count and identified weapons. Then they decided to jot down notes and identify the people in charge. They took pictures of the people inside and sent their data to their butler, named Servant Slave, so he could begin compiling information about the potential threats, and a potential new gang. 

McMag approached the warehouse entrance where 2 lowlife thugs were outside drinking, smoking, and having a good laugh. McMag crept up behind them and pulled down their pants, then knocked them out cold with one hit. Magnum took several hits to knock out his thug because he is a pussy. 

McMag straightened themselves out and hid their weapons. They pulled out their police markings and necklaces and entered the door silently. They waited for a timely, and dramatic, entrance. They revealed themselves and announced their presence. After introducing themselves and establishing their immunity, they demanded to talk to the leader. 

Dick L’Stracy immediately stood up and approached the detectives. Dick told the detectives that this was his property and that he was showing it off to a group of potential buyers. Bruce interrupted and claimed it was an open house. Jack chimes in saying they were interested in buying immediately. Dick refused and Bruce interrupted again by asking why there was a little girl there at this hour. 

The little girl was Dreadylocks, Dr. Dray claimed she was his daughter, which she essentially was because he created her. 

Suddenly, Jack heard a scream and asked Dr. Dray what it was. Dray said he was unsure. Dick said this was a docking station and we accept shipments from overseas. They got some animals that were being sold to the zoo but they had to stay overnight until the transport service picked up the next day. 

Jack asked what it was, and dick said there were some monkeys and some other animals. He asked if Dick would mind if he checked to make sure it wasn’t a human. Dick said ok. 

After going outside, you could hear the sound of a ferocious gorilla and a woman (or a flaming homosexual). McMag demanded the cargo containers to be opened so they could investigate and save the woman. To everyone’s surprise, a gorilla and a woman came out of the container… however, the woman was the creature making the ferocious gorilla noises and the gorilla sounded like a teenage girl who had seen a spider. 

Jack yelled, “Hey hey hey! What’s going on!” The gorilla answered, in perfect gay English, “Oh my gaaawd! I just woke up and this bitch just attacked me for no reason!”

The woman was hulking in size and looked like a giant Amazonian woman. Bruce asked her what happened and she looked at him like a confused puppy. 

The gorilla said his name was George – from the jungle. Like the movie. Bruce asked the woman who she was. Instead of answering, she pulled a club out of her vagina, and began to beat it in her hand as if to let everyone know she was ready for battle. So Bruce named them both right then and there… “BiCurious George and Savage Vaj”

Dick told them the detectives they needed to leave and that the situation was under control. Since they didn’t have a warrant, they didn’t have permission to be there, no one committed any crime, and no one was in danger, they had to leave. 

Dr. Dray asked BiCurious George how he had the ability to speak. George said a corporate company tested their hair and makeup products on him and he suddenly acquired a genius intellect and the ability to do amazing makeup. He fled, but was tranquilized during his escape and woke up here. His hair was also silky, smooth, and voluminous. Savage Vaj was raised by wolves, bears, and apes. She has very limited understanding and vocabulary, but has incredible strength, brutality, and seems invulnerable. 

Dr. Dray immediately saw potential in BiCurious George and Savage Vaj. The perfect combination of Brains and Brawn. He asked them to join his family and set them up financially for their loyalty and support. They both agreed and the meeting carried on. Dr. Dray knew something had to be done about the detectives and the detectives had just identified the biggest crime syndicate to ever come into San Diego – maybe even the world. 

McMag had their work cut out for them, but they knew that, and that is what motivated their efforts. They knew they’d need some help in the beginning so they set out to expand the Justice Friends. McMag sent Servant out to meet a group of extraordinary people to assist them in tackling this epic adventure. Hustler (Flash version of fast talking salesman who is also super fast), Waterboy (worthless aqua man who asks heroes to throw villains in the water also shoots water through his mouth like a bullet), RoboFlex (a robot who is strong and can do computer stuff, but can’t flex, but he tries anyway), Yogaman (worthless hero that is just here so that he can be killed and provide a dramatic realistic effect), One-Night-Stand-Man (douche bag hero with a small penis but really good at sweeping women off their feat. He also becomes annoying and clingy after he bangs a chick), Gnatman (Batman version of an annoying hero who buzzes exactly like a gnat when approaching people. Gnatman never has a plan and he’s an idiot, but he has a lot of money and that’s why they keep him around), Gay Pride Man (Superman version and he is really strong and just like Superman but he feels pain easily, he’s sensitive, and he’s got a lot of issues)

While returning to the Glory Hall, Jack got a call about a drive by and the caller reported there were buttholes all over the area. Bruce McClane, being a master of physics and trajectory, went over to investigate the bullet holes and get some answers from all the buttholes in the area. Upon his arrival, McMag was shocked to realize that there were no bullet holes to be found… someone had actually shot their ass off – and left BUTTHOLES all over the place. It could be only one culprit… the infamous… TASSmanian She-Devil. It was rumored that she could physically project her butt cheeks out with great precision up to 30 feet. Her legend was chalked up as myth until Inspector Ratchet, a federal investigator, did some digging on the TASSmanian She-Devil and tipped it to Bruce and Jack.

Inspector Ratchet

Inspector Ratchet isn’t evil, but she is the regulatory federal agent who criticizes all the heroic acts of Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum. She’s a journalist who twerks every time she senses bullshit. Like her spider sense… she automatically, and uncontrollably, starts twerking every time Bruce or Jack tell a lie. She provides some entertainment value when she pesters McMag because it’s fun to watch her twerk while she works. She accrued this special ability after she was bitten by Cardi B. Bruce and Jack invited her to join the Justice Friends, which she uncaringly accepted.

Chapter 1: The building of Vicarious

Crime was on the downfall because of the heroic actions taken by Bruce McClane and Jack Magnum. They were seizing countless weight in guns, drugs, and bad guys. Pig Latin was becoming increasingly frustrated because he couldn’t stop Bruce and Jack and his supplies and revenue was getting cut. The only man he trusted to handle this, was Dr. Dray, but no one had seen Dr. Dray in weeks. Dr. Dray was very private and very secure. When he wanted to talk, he’d contact his generals. 

Dr. Dray has been hard at work developing his mind control implant called, “Vicarious” after a few dictators showed interest in Dr. Dray’s cloning success. The doctor made several fully functioning clones of himself in which he implanted Vicarious. Just in case they went rogue, he needed to be sure he had ultimate control along with a team of like minded, and just as capable people, to do the work he wanted done. Vicarious was built into their brains as a failsafe – IF they ever did something bad. He would also use them to take his place if he was ever caught. 

Vicarious was such an amazing development because it allowed the doctor to control the mind of the wearer – without them being aware they were being manipulated. A surgically placed microphone and camera also allowed him to see and hear what was around the Vicarious host. This was no easy feat. 

Dr. Dray would install the microphone and camera at the same time he installed Vicarious. This was easier to do if the host had hair, excess skin, or a higher body fat count. This hidden device would allow Dr. Dray to rule the world…

To be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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